In 1997, US psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron looked into the question of why two people fall in love.
In his study, he developed 36 questions which, when answered and followed by 4 minutes of eye contact, caused previously unknown couples to fall in love.
At the beginning of 2015, university lecturer Mandy Len Catron tested this theory on herself and actually fell in love with the man who asked her these questions. The story was even published in the New York Times.
Why should this theory work?
The study “The Experimental Creation of Interpersonal Closeness” by Dr. Arthur Aron states that the prerequisite for love is that a personal and emotional connection must be established between two people.
Physical attractiveness attracts people, but the real reason for love is an emotional bond.
The questions, which start innocuously enough, lead to personal information, which is normally revealed in many dates and even in a relationship, being exchanged in fast-forward and a very personal and emotional relationship being established with the other person.
The questions force both participants to open their hearts to each other, which brings people together emotionally.
At the end of the questions, they look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes without words, after which both participants should have fallen in love with each other.
These are the 36 questions:
- If you could choose: Which person in this world would you have dinner with?
- If you could be famous, what would you like to be famous for?
- Have you ever practiced something before you called someone? If so, why?
- What does a perfect day look like for you?
- When was the last time you sang for someone else or for yourself?
- Imagine you could live to be 90 years old. If you could choose to live your mind or your body from the age of 30 for the remaining 60 years, which would you choose?
- Do you have a premonition of how you will die?
- What 3 things do you and your counterpart probably have in common?
- What are you most grateful for in your life?
- In hindsight, would you change anything about the way you grew up or were brought up?
- Tell your life story in 4 minutes
- If you woke up tomorrow and could choose any skill, what would it be?
- If someone could tell you the future or the truth about something, what would you want to know?
- What have you been dreaming of for a long time and why haven’t you done it yet?
- What is the biggest or best thing you have achieved in your life so far?
- What is the most important thing in a friendship for you?
- Which memory is most valuable to you?
- Which memory is the worst for you?
- If you knew that you only had one year left to live, would you change anything in your life? If so, what?
- What does friendship mean in your life?
- What does love and affection mean to you in your life?
- Take it in turns to tell each other which 5 positive character traits your counterpart has
- How good is the relationship between the members of your family? Do you think your childhood was better than other people’s?
- How is your relationship with your mother?
- Make 3 true statements about the two of you and use the word “we”.
- Complete the sentence “I wish I had someone to tell that….”
- If the person sitting across from you were to become a very close friend of yours, what would they need to know about you?
- Tell the person what you like about them, even if it’s not something you would normally say to someone you’ve just met.
- Tell them about an embarrassing moment in your life
- When was the last time you cried alone and when in front of other people?
- Tell what you like about the person sitting across from you
- What would you say is too serious to joke about?
- If you were to die today without having had the chance to talk to anyone, what would you regret not having told someone important to you? Why haven’t you told them yet?
- Let’s say your home was on fire and you saved your family and pets and you had the opportunity to save one more thing: What would that be and why would it be?
- Whose death from your family would affect you the most?
- Tell the other person about a personal problem and ask how they would solve it. Let the other person assess how they think you feel about this problem.
After the last question, both participants should look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes and the feeling of being in love should be perfect.
Conclusion
If you have the opportunity to go through this experiment with the man of your dreams, do it 🙂 If not, perhaps you can incorporate one or two questions into your flirting.
See you soon,
Mia